A Year in Photo - Day 122

Fall is always a hard time of year for me. I love the colour of the leaves, but I don't like that all the trees in my backyard become naked, revealing the trashy "cottages" behind us. I love that the temperature starts to drop and I can turn off our noisy A/C unit and air out our house, but I don't like the grey skies and increased rain. I love the fall fruit, but I'm reminded that soon my only option will be expensive, flavourless, grocery store fruit. 

But the hardest part of fall is the reminder that winter is just around the corner. In addition to my anxiety and depression, I have Seasonal Affective Disorder (S.A.D.), which is exacerbated by Kelowna's notoriously gloomy winter's and lack of sunshine. I try not to think about it but it's hard not to reminded that, over the past few years, winter has been my most difficult time mentally; often resulting in medication increases and hard days. So although I can see the good in the fall, I'm left with a pit in my stomach.

For now I'm trying to appreciate fall for it's beauty and set myself up for success this winter; creating a schedule, giving myself a purpose and something to work towards, and trying not to dwell on the past winters, who knows, maybe this year will be different.

"If you're feeling frightened about what comes next, don't be. Embrace the uncertainty. Allow it to lead you places. Be brave as it challenges you to exercise both your heart and your mind as you create your own path toward happiness; don't waste time with regret. Spin wildly into your next action. Enjoy the present, each moment, as it comes, because you'll never get another one quite like it. And if you should ever look up and find yourself lost, simply take a breath and start over. Retrace your steps and go back to the purest place in your heart...where your hope lives. You'll find your way again." -Everwood